EVE’S GLUE 

Relationships were the key factor in churchgoing for many women according to research recently published by Heather Wraight in Eve’s Glue. 

Their faith and their churchgoing revolve around relationships

A sense of family

The church community can provide a safe place where people are accepted and appreciated for who they are and not only for what they do or who they were.  This was particularly important for widows, of which churches often have many, as well as single people, especially those living celibate lives whose lack of a live-in relationship was not understood by work colleagues. 

Not letting people down

There was a strong sense of loyalty among women churchgoers.  Having committed themselves to something, however small, they did not want to let people down.  So if on a particular day a woman was tempted not to go to church she would often turn up rather than disappoint people by not being there.  

Bringing others

While some of the women in the study were involved in church-organised evangelistic activities, virtually all of them saw evangelism as primarily relational: talking to friends when the subject of faith or church came up, praying for neighbours and friends who had no Christian faith, and simply living out their faith at all times. They were happier talking to people one-to-one or sharing in a small group, rather than getting involved in big evangelistic events. 

Leaving church

Several women in the survey had left church for at least a year at some point in their adult lives.  Nearly all had returned by the time of the study, but they were asked to identify why they had left and it was most likely to have been because a relationship had broken down.  For some that was within the church, perhaps with a church leader or a colleague.  For others the relationship that caused them to leave church was within their own family, perhaps a divorce or a daughter becoming a single mother which made it difficult to face people at church again. 

Coming back

Why had the women who had dropped out of church for at least a year returned?  For a few it was what is sometimes called “a crisis of faith”.  However the reason most often given was that a churchgoing friend had kept in touch, or that a woman had missed her friends at church, the fellowship, and the sense of belonging. 

Friendship helps faith grow

Several women described growing in faith as feeling they had come to know God better.  For others specific answers to prayer had been significant.  Faith also grew for some because of one particular friend, or the friendship and support of a group such as a home group.  Having a Christian friend to pray with, talk to about matters of faith and give and receive encouragement was a significant help for a number of women.  

Worshipping with others

When asked what they ‘get out of coming to church’, the women responded with a mixture of practical and spiritual answers.  The factors related to worship included several things which are done corporately at church such as singing or receiving the sacraments.  Fellowship featured high on the list, as did encouragement both personally and spiritually. 

Faith is a relationship with God

Seeing faith as a relationship with God, rather than a knowledge about Him was common amongst these women.  Part of their sense of belonging is to experience the presence of God, and ‘presence’ is an awareness of the person of God rather than agreement with beliefs about Him.

The relationship with God was the key relationship at church, and the one which made church significantly different from other social groups such as the Women’s Institute.  However, relationships were mutually dependent on each other - if the other relationships at church were not working, the relationship with God was more likely to be strained and vice versa.