My professional life has two very interesting aspects.  I am the vicar of St Matthew’s, Fulham, where our female members by far outnumber the men.  I am also Honorary Chaplain to Fulham Football Club and Fulham police, where I meet far more men than women.  Why do men find it difficult to go to church?  Recent research shows that members of Christian faith communities are most likely to be middle-aged or older women, although the age factor is not true in my own congregation.

 

Church survey

My church is in the Kensington Episcopal Area of the Diocese of London.  I wrote to all the churches in the Area, which stretches from Kensington out to Heathrow Airport, asking for the numbers on their electoral rolls and how many of these were male.  42 churches replied and their average male membership was 38% of their total.  In total there were 2,660 men on the electoral rolls, with average attendance at Sunday services of 2,100 men.

I drew up a league table of five of the six Deaneries (only one church replied from the sixth) to compare location and male churchgoing. 

Men in membership, by Deanery

%

Chelsea                                   48

Kensington                              45

Hampton                                  36

Hounslow                                 33

Hammersmith & Fulham           29

I had anticipated which would be top and bottom of the table.  Chelsea is probably one of the richest deaneries in the diocese, while Hounslow and Hammersmith contain some of the poorest parishes.  Men who are better educated and more affluent seem more likely to attend church.

Two other interesting factors emerged.  There were only 10 of the 42 churches where male Sunday attendance either equalled or exceeded the number of men on the electoral roll;  nine of these would describe themselves as evangelical or evangelical/charismatic.  One church had a congregation composed almost entirely of Afro-Caribbean and West African people.  All the men in that fellowship were West African, there were none from Afro-Caribbean or European ethnic backgrounds.

 

Interviews with men

To find out more, I carried out individual interviews with 28 men.  The youngest was 17 and the oldest 72 and they represented a social and professional cross section.  The one thing they had in common was that they chose not to attend church.  In some cases members of their family attend and so they are taken along from time to time, but even these had decided that church was not for them.  I asked various questions to try and discover why.

 

Childhood and youth

- 17 had gone to church as children

- 11 had gone to Sunday School

- 8 had attended a church-based club or youth group.

Some had done more than one of these and generally they had enjoyed them, especially the friendships they had there.  When I asked what they had disliked about the church they had attended only three said boredom had put them off.  The most negative factor, which had been really resented, was being made to go.

All had experienced school assemblies and religious education at both primary and secondary school, and 10 had attended church schools where visiting church for school services was a regular feature.  Only six claimed school had put them off church, but neither had it inspired them to continue churchgoing after they left school.

 

Belief

“Do you believe in God?” was answered positively by 15 of the men, negatively by only two, while 11 were agnostic.   13 believed in life after death and two said “I would like to”, but fewer believed in heaven (8) or hell (6).  When asked if they ever prayed 18 said ‘Yes’, but only three of these prayed regularly.  However, religion was not a taboo topic - 19 said they discussed religion with friends and family.

I took heart from these responses.  There were only two out and out atheists and quite a bit of interest in faith.  I was intrigued to see that the number who prayed exceeded the number who believe in God, something I am told is not uncommon!

 

Church

Most of the men had actually enjoyed church when they attended.  There were a few negative comments about sermons and a preference for traditional hymns rather than contemporary songs.  But a key response for me came when I asked, “If you wanted to find out something about God is church the place to which you would go?”  “No”, responded 20 of the 28 - only a family crisis would draw most of them to church.

 

Conclusions

The men I spoke with were interested to talk about belief, but they saw no reason to attend church.  There was no overwhelming factor which put them off church, just indifference. 

So what can we do to become ‘fishers of men’?  We need to be aware that in order to reach men we must go to where they are rather than expect them to come to us.  The men we have in church need to be released to work with other men in ‘male-friendly’ environments.

We run a men’s group with a monthly meeting for discussion of topics such as stress, money, prayer, and even church!  The evening begins with a meal to create a relaxed atmosphere.  We go away together on an annual men’s weekend retreat which is very popular.  A number of men who would not attend a Sunday service are happy to be members of this group.  All those who attend regard themselves as part of the church, and are happy to be involved in church activities.

Men seem to regard church as a ‘women’s thing’.  How man-friendly are our churches?  If I came to your church on a Sunday, would I be welcomed by another man?  In our teaching is there any emphasis on the masculinity of Jesus?  These are important issues which need to be addressed.

If we are to reach out to men, we must put definite strategies in place.  With God’s help it can be done.

 

Rev Gary Piper, Vicar, St Matthew’s, Fulham